Part I, Book 3, Chapter 7
Tholomyès’s Wisdom
Having established that Favourite is the best, we proceed to discover that Tholomyès is just complete and utter trash. He is THE WORST.
He spends this chapter lecturing his dinner companions on his personal beliefs. Lecturing! At dinner! I would leave. I’m getting flashes of the bishop’s senator here. At least the senator’s rantings had some philosophical merit (you know, if you squint). Tholomyès’ declarations read like the stuff you see posted by sad pathetic men who pay for blue checks.
The lecture starts with the virtues of moderation, segues into puns, and then goes into drive-by negging. “You’re fond of apple turnovers, ladies. Don’t overindulge your fondness.” The hell???
He moves onto general standard-issue misogyny. He gives his fellow bros advice to “spare yourself the nuptial bed” and tells them “Beware of women! […] A woman is scheming and perfidious.” Bold move saying this in front of a group that is 50% women! Man is a real winner.
And as it turns out, his crack about apple turnovers was just the beginning of a spree. He goes on to neg all the girls except Favourite. He tells Zéphine, “You look like a pretty face that someone has sat on by mistake.” In a condescending tangent aimed at the ladies telling them not to marry, he calls them “O rodent sex.”
Amazingly, calling all women rodents (coming from him, somehow offensive to both women and rodents at the same time) is arguably not the peak of his terribleness. Tholomyès finishes with a toast where he says, “Kiss me, Fantine,” and kisses Favourite instead.
FANTINE, DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH THIS MAN.
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