Part I, Book 5, Chapter 12
Monsieur Bamatabois’s Idleness
Asshole alert!!!
We open with a pretty savage takedown, courtesy of Hugo, of a certain kind of guy. “These are creatures of the great neuter species,” he writes, “boors in a salon and think themselves gentlemen in the tavern. […] Who boo actresses at the theatre to prove they are men of taste […] take fashion to extremes, […] despise women,” etc.
“Neuter species”!!!!! Basically he’s describing the kind of guy who worships toxic masculine influencers and who attacks the Menswear Guy on Twitter only to get absolutely obliterated.
Our story features one of these specimens, a provincial dandy named Bamatabois (I’ll call him Bammy for short), who on one cold snowy January night (8-10 months after Fantine became a prostitute, in case anyone’s keeping track), is outside tormenting Fantine because he has nothing better to do. There’s a term for this guy, and it’s 無聊. Does everyone in this town desperately need to get a hobby?
Bammy is just throwing insults at Fantine every time she walks by, because he is a real winner. She has the dignity to pretend he’s not there (noting this as proof of my “Fantine is also a cat” theory), which rather than making him give up and go away, fills him with so much 無聊 energy that he grabs a fistful of dirty snow and shoves it down the back of her dress.
What the f, Bammy?!? Are you a five-year-old boy???
This is too much for Fantine, who as we have seen is already a “wild beast” and proceeds to jump on Bammy (exact words: “leapt like a panther,” Fantine is a cat theory confirmed) and beat the everloving crap out of him. Siri, play “Cell Block Tango” from Chicago, because this man had it coming!
A crowd gathers to watch because everyone in this town needs to get a hobby.
The fight is suddenly broken up when Javert appears out of nowhere and grabs Fantine.
Bammy escapes, because of course he does. Hey, does anyone know where Bammy lives? He’s got the vibe of a man who’s about to run into my knife ten times.
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