Part II, Book 5, Chapter 9
The Man with the Bell
One of my favorite traits of Rich Valjean is his tendency to just throw money at people when he’s in a bind and there’s a problem that needs solving. It turns out that going to prison again and living in a shitty tenement did not erase this particular trait of his.
Deep in the throes of a panicked Dad Freakout, and more concerned with Cosette’s wellbeing than being turned in, Valjean falls back on his rich guy instincts and runs toward the strange shadowy man limping through the garden in the middle of the night, yelling “100 francs!”
The other man startles, as anyone would if you were in a private garden in the dead of night and a lunatic came out of nowhere yelling a large sum of money like a deranged auctioneer. Valjean cries, desperately, that he will give the man 100 francs for shelter for the night. I don’t know what the going rate for a night in a creepy decrepit building in Paris is, but it’s probably nowhere near 100 francs, aka half a set of silverware. It’s a great deal for whoever this guy is.
The moon hits Valjean’s face, that’s amore and said guy says, “Oh! It’s you, Père Madeleine!”
Me: yes, this guy gets it, throwing around ridiculous sums of money is absolutely Madeleine behavior—WAIT what?
Valjean doesn’t recognize the man, who cries his astonishment at how Mayor Madeleine got there and how underdressed he is for the night, etc. Valjean asks who the man is and what the house is, and the man exclaims that, why, Madeleine is the one who put him there in that house!
The moon, right on cue like an expert stagehand at the lights, hits the man’s face, that’s amore and reveals him to be no other than Fauchelevent, aka Fauchey, the once-hater who Madeleine saved from an overturned cart. You may remember that Madeleine not only saved Fauchey’s life, he also gave him a small fortune and set him up with a job in a Paris convent.
So that’s why you save people’s lives! It comes in handy when you’re on the run! (I might be taking the wrong moral from this.)
Valjean, putting it all together, asks Fauchey what he’s doing in the garden in the middle of the night and Fauchey responds, “Why, covering my melons, of course!” and explains that he was putting the “winter coats” on the melons to protect them from potential frost. Winter coats for his melons! This man is adorable.
Then Valjean asks what is up with the bell on Fauchey’s knee, which jingles with his every movement, and Fauchey explains that the house is all girls and women and the bell is to let them stay clear of him because he’s “dangerous” for them to meet—my first thought was, oh no, is Fauchey a sex offender???
Then Valjean asks what the house is, and Fauchey cannot believe Mr. Mayor doesn’t remember getting him this gardener job, and reveals it as the Petit-Picpus convent. Ohh whew, so that’s why the girls aren’t supposed to run into him! I was a little worried there.
So to recap, by complete coincidence, Valjean has taken shelter on the exact property where he placed a guy whose life he saved and who, clearly, has not gotten the news about his beloved mayor being a disgraced criminal, and is therefore embracing him with open arms. This is borderline deus ex machina stuff.
This also means that Fauchey hasn’t gotten the news about his hometown falling to absolute pieces. No one knew it at the time, but moving him to Paris was absolutely the right call. Is Fauchey actually the luckiest guy in the world, a sort of anti-Champmathieu?
Fauchey isn’t against his savior crashing at his place, but he says there’s one small problem: it being a convent, no men other than him are allowed on the property. Valjean insists that he must stay and reminds Fauchey that he did save his life—as if he needs reminding, man!
So, just for the night, Fauchey offers his humble gardener’s hut. Valjean asks Fauchey to not tell anyone what he knows about Mayor Madeleine, and also not to ask more questions. These conditions seem a liiiittle suspect, but Fauchey cheerfully agrees because Madeleine is an honorable man of God (confirmed: he definitely hasn’t heard the news) so whatever this man asks must be above board!
A roof secured for the night, Valjean says he’ll go get “the child”—this is news to Fauchey, but he just rolls with it—and a few minutes later, Cosette is tucked into Fauchey’s bed in front of a warm fire. Whew, dad freakout over!
Fauchey feeds Valjean and lovingly scolds him for being so “heartless”: it’s actually pretty terrible, he says, that the mayor saves people’s lives and then forgets those people! I kind of love this dynamic and think the rest of the book should just be a wholesome buddy-comedy with Valjean and Fauchey. That’s what Les Misérables is, right?
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